Words and Categories are too Simple

Opening lines from a CNN article by Leslie Morgan Steiner:

"Historically, women's rights and status in America have been viewed by both men and women as "soft" issues -- worthy but marginal.

Real problems are the serious ones -- financial crises, international confrontations, nuclear arms, trade disputes, Mafia murders, the Steelers/Ravens game (if it looks close). But ills that plague the daily lives of women like rape, incest, prostitution and domestic violence -- not so much."

May I just say, what the hell is she talking about? I don't think women's problems have been marginalized. Rape and domestic violence, which she goes on to discuss, do not, in my opinion, fall entirely and exclusively under the category of women's rights and status. That is a question of human safety, dignity, and respect. And really, to suggest that Americans are more concerned with sports games than rape is a disgraceful insult to the entire nation. More preoccupied, perhaps - as we all are with our pastimes as opposed to terrifying and disgusting issues as rape, but unconcerned or dismissive of it? Hardly.

While she does not touch directly on what I'm about to say, she does mention Whoopi Goldberg's comment that Roman Polanski is not a "RAPE rapist." While I don't think Polanski's crime should be excused, I do think that in perhaps other cases, Whoopi has a point. We as a society really really oversimplify rape.

If we use the strictest definition of rape as an act in which an individual is forced or coerced into sexual activity against his or her will, we cannot ignore the fact then that we've thrown out a very wide net, that everything ranging from a breakdown in communication to a brutal torture would fall under this category. With that said, we need to pay attention to how we treat rape victims and rapists. If the effects of the victim and not the intent of the perpetrator define the crime, or sometimes "crime," then we have lumped some very nice men (and a few women) who were a little oblivious to a partner's cues and signals, together with some of the vilest, most brutal weapon-brandishing, mutilating monsters that have walked this planet and committed extensive, pre-meditated acts of cruel predation. To then say that women who suffer any form of rape are equally traumatized is an incomprehensible and unconscionable insult to those who have suffered repeated physical violence, mutilation, and mental harm. It is also insulting to suggest that women who have suffered rapes in the form of miscommunications are so childish, immature, and incapable of caring for themselves that they cannot be asked to figure out when to speak up for themselves. It is equally insulting to the perpetrators in these cases to suggest that they are too brute or insensitive to be responsive to requests to stop. These latter forms of rape are situations that require public and private dialogue so that we all can better understand each other, learn how to respect one another, and to again emphasize the necessity for and appropriateness of open, preferably verbal communication during ALL sexual acts. Accusing someone of rape can often be just as damaging, if not far more damaging, than suffering a case of the "gray" rape.